I rocked you to sleep tonight, dear one, and listened with tears in my eyes to the sound of your sweet breath as you faded into the night and were carried away into the clouds with your dreams.
I held you and I cried, for you have been my dream.
You were the beginning of me in every essence as a Mother, the years I hoped and prayed for you, desperate to know you’d be mine one day until the one day there you were.
You opened my heart, my eyes, my mind and my soul to life anew, and with each joyful and tiring day, I would see you drift off to sleep and thank the Lord for blessing me with my son.
We stand at the dawn of a new era for you and I. My heart aches when I worry you will be confused, or insecure, or in any way question how deep my love can go for you. My worry paces in the back of my mind like an anxious man; how will my heart love her as much you? Is there space inside my heart for you both? How will my heart possibly expand any further than to the extremes you have shown me of love to include her? How can love go any further than what I feel for you?
You have been my everything. You will always be my everything. How can a mother’s heart grow any more? And yet I know she has already carved out her space in the ever-growing, ever-expanding, ever-swelling-with-pride-and-love space inside my heart. A space I could never have imagined if you had not unlocked it with your presence; a space that began because you laid its foundations.
Sam, you will always have my heart. Thank you for showing me just how big it could be.
I can’t wait to see how it expands when she arrives, and I know I will find new depths of my love for you, for her, and all the space inside my heart I need to carry you both with me at all times.
image by Jess McCall Photography