Never and Always

Ok ok ok.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff this week and I guess I should type it out.

First of all, this:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=721832101182627&set=vb.100000675316497&type=2&theater

In case you can’t watch it, it’s a video taken on a mobile phone at the Eminem concert in Melbourne, Australia on Saturday night.

Here’s a real quick glance at the lowlight reel:

Part 1: Drunk guy dancing and generally being a bit silly, has an audience gathered, cheering him on.

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Part 2: Drunk, silly guy spies girl sitting on the floor of the stadium and throws himself down on the ground next to her. At this stage I don’t think anyone’s too fussed..

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Part 3: Guy then simulates oral on the girl by prying apart her legs.

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Part 4: Girl tries to get away from strange man attempting to bury his face in her crotch.

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Part 5: Drunk rapey guy pulls her back down and does this while crowd cheers:

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Part 6: Security step in and remove drunk rapey guy. The crowd boo as he is removed.

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The girl is seen returning to her friend and getting high-fived for her role in the spectacle.

And before you argue, it was a spectacle:

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So here’s my problem.

Here’s what’s been on my mind since I saw this for the first time.

Regardless of whether that girl high-fived a friend after this happened;
Regardless of whether the guy was drunk and ‘didn’t mean any harm’;
Regardless of the fact that hundreds and hundreds of people watched this happen;
or the fact that they cheered as he actually assaulted the girl;
or that they booed as security stepped in to stop it;

This. Is. Rape. Culture.

Watching people’s comments online in reaction to this is typical, alarming, predictable and confronting. (Language warning.)

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Another interesting thing to note was that not one female on this discussion thought this was funny. And yet there were several posts from men who felt females should ‘lighten up.’

Here’s the thing. This is not cool. The comments moreso than the video. Because THIS is what people are talking about when they use the term “Rape Culture.” The implication that things done in jest, in alcohol related circumstances, where a girl appears to be ‘enticing’ someone, where one is told they need to get out more simply because they find this a disturbing scenario, or because the girl obviously was enjoying herself and not putting up enough of a fight for it to be taken seriously… THAT is rape culture.

Furthermore, this:

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So it seems we have a problem with individuals understanding a few facts.

a) You are not entitled to handle someone else’s body, ever.

b) Alcohol does not absolve a person of their actions, nor is it to be seen as consent.

c) You have to be famous to get the police to take your assault case seriously (in most cases.)

d) The overall attitude in Australia toward sexual assault is one of “lighten up.”

I fully understand and recognize that rape is not unique to men assaulting women. I am well aware that men and boys sadly experience rape, and that women can be rapists. My question is, why is this becoming more and more socially acceptable? Why are the ones who speak up and say “Hey! I’m not ok with this!” labelled as being too uptight, or needing a life?

Allow me to make this really, really simple for you to understand, rapists.
Drunken men, and women, who don’t know the boundaries.
Anyone who thinks handling someone else’s body without their express consent is ok.

Situations in which rape is deserved:
Never.

Situations in which a girl’s outfit implies consent:

Never.

Situations in which being drunk implies consent:
Never.

Situations in which it is ok to touch someone’s body without consent:
Never.

Situations in which it is the victim’s fault:
Never.

Situations in which a rapist is not responsible for rape:
Never.

Situations in which the Australian public should discourage rape culture:
Always.

I hope this helps.

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2 thoughts on “Never and Always

  1. What I hate is how these incidents put a dark cloud over every single Australian male, even those of us who aren’t into the rape culture.

    Sure, Sarah (like many actresses) is a good looking young lady, but surely admiring from a distance or simply getting an autograph is a much better thing to do.

    1. It’s true, unfortunately there are good men out there who would never condone this behaviour. Sadly they’re often too silent when these things occur. I think if more men stood up for anti abuse campaigns, it would get heard a lot more by those who need to hear it.

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